Getting Support

NHS

A miscarriage can have a profound emotional impact on you and also on your partner, friends and family. Advice and support are available during this difficult time.

Remembrance

It's usually possible to arrange a memorial and burial service if you want one. In some hospitals or clinics it may be possible to arrange a burial within the grounds. You can also arrange to have a burial at home, although you may need to consult your local authority before doing so.

Cremation is an alternative to burial and can be performed at either the hospital or a local crematorium. However, not all crematoriums provide this service and there will not be any ashes for you to scatter afterwards.

If your pregnancy ends before 24 weeks, you do not need to formally register a miscarriage. But you may be able to get a certificate in memory of your baby, if you want one.

Emotional impact

Sometimes the emotional impact is felt immediately after the miscarriage, whereas in other cases it can take several weeks. Many people affected by a miscarriage go through a bereavement period.

It's common to feel tired, lose your appetite and have difficulty sleeping after a miscarriage. You may also feel a sense of guilt, shock, sadness and anger – sometimes at a partner, or at friends or family members who have had successful pregnancies.

Different people grieve in different ways. Some people find it comforting to talk about their feelings, while others find the subject too painful to discuss.

Some people come to terms with their grief after a few weeks of having a miscarriage and start planning for their next pregnancy. For others, the thought of planning another pregnancy is too traumatic, at least in the short term.

If you're in a relationship, it can help to make sure you're both open about how you are feeling. Your partner may also be affected by the loss. Men sometimes find it harder to express their feelings, particularly if they feel their main role is to support the mother and not the other way round.

Miscarriage can also cause feelings of anxiety or depression, and can lead to relationship problems.

Getting support

If you're worried that you or your partner are having problems coping with grief, you may need further treatment and counselling. There are support groups that can provide or arrange counselling for people who have been affected by miscarriage.

Your GP can provide you with support and advice. The following organisations can also help:

Useful resources

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Helplines & Web Chats

Informing Choices NI - Helpline
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Macmillan - Forum
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