Separation & Divorce

NSPCC

Separation may involve bad feelings between the parents and their families. Children can pick up on this, which may make them confused or unhappy – or even blame themselves for a break-up.

To support children during a separation and help them with their worries, you should:

  • remind them that they're loved by both parents
  • be honest when talking about it but keep in mind the child's age and understanding
  • avoid blame and don't share any negative feelings the adults have about each other
  • keep up routines such as going to school and specific meal times
  • let them know they can talk about their feelings with you – explain that it's okay to be sad, confused or angry
  • listen more than you speak – answering questions will help them to open up.

There are lots of ways to make it a bit less painful when talking to children about divorce or any other difficult subject.

In general, mothers automatically have parental responsibility for their child from birth.

Fathers usually have parental responsibility for the child if they were married to the child's mother and/or are listed on the child's birth certificate.

If both partners have parental responsibility, then both are responsible for the child's wellbeing until he or she reaches adulthood at age 18.

How courts decide on child contact

Every child and set of circumstances is different. But in every situation, the child's welfare must be put first. When deciding on contact and residence, the courts focus on a number of key factors, such as:

  • the wishes and feelings of the child
  • any harm or risk of harm
  • the child's physical, emotional and educational needs
  • the likely effect of any change in the child's circumstances
  • the child's age, sex, background and characteristics
  • the ability of each parent to meet the child's needs.

For more information & to learn about the law surrounding separation & divorce - follow this link.

Useful resources

This document explains entitlement to parental leave. To view the document, click the...
This document explains how statutory annual leave entitlement is to apply when a teacher...
This scheme applies to all eligible teachers to provide leave to care for their child or...
This scheme applies to teachers who adopt a child from within the UK or overseas (subject...
This scheme applies to all teachers to provide leave to care for their child or support...
Our Wellness Service uses 1-1 Wellness Recovery Action plans (WRAP) to support new and...
We understand that a diagnosis of a chest or heart condition, or suffering a heart attack...
Speakeasy is a Public Health Agency funded, community based teaching programme for...
55% of Young People in NI are looking to Social Media for the information they need to...
The Parenting Apart Programme is aimed at parents who have separated, are separating,...
Positive Minds for Premature Parents supports families of premature babies to develop and...
Even the most loving relationships will experience stress from time to time. But by...
This 50 minute session is an accessible way for couples to check in with each other, and...
Fun, fast food for less. This is a practical six-week nutrition programme aimed at...
The British Red Cross home care services will provide you with the support and care to...
Relate Teen can help post-primary school-aged children, usually aged 11 and over, to deal...
Mood Matters Young People programme is aimed at 14-18 year olds and gives them knowledge...
The Engage service provides a family therapy programme available to professionals working...
Family relationship support can be helpful for supporting relationships within the family...
In Ctrl is a group work programme for children and young people that aims to help them...
Just Ask is a unique Relationships and Sexuality Education programme working specifically...
Relationship support can be helpful for couples who have concerns or difficulties arising...
The project aims to meet the maternal mental health needs at this perinatal stage and...
Relationship counselling is an effective form of relationship maintenance, particularly...
Seeking Solutions offers children and young people help and support to deal with problems...
The Sustaining Healthy Relationships project is a new and innovative venture for Relate...
We’ve gathered useful advice, information and help for young people aged 8-25 and those...
Get help finding missing relatives abroad through our international family tracing...
Are you experiencing changes in your relationship because of a brain tumour? If you, your...
One At A Time Therapy is a single session of relationship counselling support, which can...
The Engage service provides a family therapy programme available to professionals working...
Relate Kids can help primary school-aged children, usually up to age 11, to deal with...
This is delivered to expectant mothers & parents of babies under 3 years of age. It...
Steps to Cope has been developed specifically for young people who have experienced...
Relationship support can be helpful for Individuals who have concerns or difficulties...
Pregnancy and guidance for after birth
Our free Easy Meals app is a great way to eat foods that are healthier for you. You’ll...
Nutrition scanner
Music timer for brushing teeth
Baby and child first aid
First aid advice
Support hub for mothers

Helplines & Web Chats

NSPCC - Helpline
Family Lives - Forum
ParentLine NI
ParentLine NI
Family Lives Forum